Last night, all of Canada put down their log saws and turned off their maple syrup spigots as the 2010 Much Music Video Awards swooped in and took the country hostage… with entertainment! And oh, Canada, so much went wrong but in such a delightfully right way.
And dare we say, we have Miley Cyrus to blame.
Miley was the co-host of the event, and had her share of issues. For starters, apparently she was just released from jail, as her “Party in the USA” performance was one black face tear tattoo shy of an East L.A. Shawshank Redemption sequel. Unless Miley’s the new spokeswoman for Coke-a-Chola, we can’t really understand what she’s trying to prove for a girl who’s never heard a Jay-Z song.
Because we’re fair, we won’t even embed the vid of her flubbing her cue cards, because really, we blame the cue card guy. Unless he was log rolling at the time, no excuse to not change the card. Sadly, random-now-fired cue card man cannot be blamed for this…
This being the “Coming to America” wedding sequence spectacular that was her show-ending performance of “Can’t Be Tamed.” Miley enters the stage dressed like a barely legal Fay Wray, and has apparently been taking lessons at the Celine Dion School of Hilariously Over-the-Top Dance Moves. (Ed. Note: I, too, am a graduate.)
If you listen closely, you can hear the souls of the Juilliard trained back-up dancers going down the garbage disposal.
In conclusion: If Miley were smart, she would contain her underaged slutty antics to those who have learned to tune her out by now… Americans. JKayyyyyy, it’s a Party in the USA. (Love that song, bye.)
