Justin Bieber was recently told to leave his seat at a showing of Get Him To The Greek because that particular section of the theater, called premium seating, was only 21 and over. First, let me visit this theater of wonder wherein they serve alcoholic beverages. I’ve heard of these places, but they seem but a dream as I have to sneak my warm 12 ounce beer into the showing of New Moon in Astoria and sit in the very last row, sweating, hating everyone in the theater. Every last underage one of them. Were I at the Showcase Cinema de Lux at Patriot Place in Foxborough, Massachusetts sipping on an ice cold dirty martini, only vaguely noting that I am allowed access to a place that one of the biggest celebrities in the world, who regularly causes riots in Australia, is denied entry. Massachusetts! So crazy with their marrying of the gays and the Celtics and Matt Damon and Robin Williams and the denying of the Biebers. What? Anyway. After he was asked to leave the section, Justin turned his be-banged headed to the manager of the establishment and quoth:
“Chuck E. Cheese sells alcohol and I have no problem getting in there!”
Well, yeah! That’s because every high school kid knows that Chuck E. Cheese is the bar they can get into! Really lax with the I.D.-ing that place. Kidding, of course. I had no idea that they served alcohol at Chuck E. Cheese because I haven’t been there since I was eight. Wait, that’s not true. I went back when I was about 15 to see if it was still great and, surprise, it wasn’t. It was depressing and full of scary animatronics. I will never go back there, even if Bieber is inside, standing next to a margarita. Because clearly, from this questionable quote, he loves it there. Dude cannot get enough Chuck E. Cheese. He wishes he were there right now.
Anyway, the manager was not thrown by this seemingly impermeable Chuck E Cheese logic. And he implemented Cinema de Lux Law and kicked Bieber out of the section anyway. Bieber then had to enjoy Get Him To The Greek with a bunch of sober a-holes. Fair enough, I would want to see Get Him To The Greek whilst buzzed. It would make Russell Brand seem so much more Brandy. Brandier? Point being, Get Him To The Chuck E. Cheese!
