We’ll wait while you Mortal Kombat your own beating heart out of your body…
This is Chase, a three-week old baby lion cub taken away from his mother when her milk dried up. Chase is now being raised by two little kids in — where else? — New Zealand, where things like this “happen all the time” (quotes courtesy of what our brain always thinks.)
Five-year-old Aliya and her three-year-old brother Ryan bottle feed my living dream scarf all the live-long day in between bouts of Chase trying to act all lion-like and sh_t, and not how he should be acting, like a child birthed from our loins.
Ahead, my fantasy New York Times Vows headshot, and photos of a baby lion cub that will simultaneously make you want to breastfeed a stray alleycat and plan the kidnapping of two New Zealand children and their “pet.”
Things get better this way…
I meannn… what am I supposed to do here?
Other than realized I’ll probably never live my dream. (Ed. Note: Or have I already lived it?)
According to Splash News, Chase loves getting his tummy rubbed, and takes small, baby lion naps in front of the fire, sometimes on a beanbag, making this officially THE QUAINTEST NON-FICTION STORY EVER.
Oh, but it gets quainter:
“He still loves sucking your thumb – he just sticks it between his teeth and sucks away gently,” the children’s father – and manager of the park – Hayden Sanders said. “It’s been like having a newborn baby in the house…. We even had to burp him after giving him a bottle and had to help train him to go to the toilet.”
Oh snap y’all, my ovaries just learned how to text message. (*vibrate*) They say “WTF is wrong with you? Get on this Collins, you bleedin’ idiot.” Well-played, period.
Clutching.
And.
Gasping. We hope you and your Mothers enjoyed the ride.
What are you waiting for? Blast this to all of your co-workers immediately and become the most popular boy/girl in the office and/or future CEO.
