Years ago, back before I had even gotten my groove started to begin with, my brother and I decided to catch a screening of How Stella Got Her Groove Back. We should have known we were in the wrong theater when we looked around and saw an ocean of middle-aged African-American women sitting on the edge of their seats. But we stuck it out. And if you’ve never sat next to a family member while watching Angela Bassett weep during an orgasm, then believe me, you haven’t lived.
But what did I take away from that evening, other than petrified mortification? Twas the knowledge of a new young actor on Hollywood’s horizon. Taye Diggs, he of oh-so-smooth skin, powerful arms, multi-functional abs and a smile that shone on like a million lighthouses (what?). Taye Diggs was hot. And he sang!! In Rent! (Remember, this was 1998, when dreams of opening up a restaurant in Santa Fe seemed nice. Now I file my Rent CD’s away under “S” for “Sad High School Years.”) There was so, so much to look forward to.
12 years have now passed. And Taye has seen his fair share of success — stints on Ally McBeal, a part in Chicago, the lead in the canceled series Day Break, and a steady recurring role on Private Practice…
But things have gotten much, much worse.
How bad?
This bad:
Taye Diggs has gotta pay the Rrrrrent, right? And thus, Taye Diggs is now officially the Spokesman for National Train Day, a thing that happens. How are you going to celebrate National Train Day?? I’m going to celebrate by calling Taye Diggs’ agent and asking what the F*CK is wrong with him? Then I’m going to discover the rail way!
The good news is I can finally test out my new Taye Diggs’ pick-up line, where I bend over and yell “All Aboarddd!”
The No Money Down Tumblr is to thank for bringing this to our attention.
