According to the UK’s Telegraph, areas in Britain where Facebook is the most used have experienced a rise in syphilis. Actually, cases have quadrupled. This is presumably because Facebook facilitates casual sexual encounters. And they don’t have Craigslist in Britain. I am not making light of this terrible disease. It’s super scary. This is just another reason why we should all collectively rise up and quit Facebook. For all the benefits of Facebook-seeing how fat your high school nemesis has become, passively aggressively bragging through show pony status updates-there are a trillion reasons why it’s the worst. Your parents are on there. So is your underage cousin who posts drunken pictures of themselves, thus posing a moral quandry. Terrible, hideous photos of you that although you can untag, you can never take down, which are free to be viewed and gloated over by the person who considers you to be their high school nemesis. People who you really never want to hear from again on your friend list, but it would cause more trouble than it’s worth to defriend. Listen, we all hate each other. So much. Let’s not pretend that we’re friends. We aren’t. I mean, we are. Everyone else, no.
By the way, I don’t think that Hugh Grant has a disease. This is a picture that was posted of him on Facebook. See how embarrassing that is? Unfortunately, all the media is Hugh Grant’s Facebook. Poor Hugh.
