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9 March
Tuesday

The Marketing Geniuses At Disney Discover Girls Are Gross And Have Cooties

A couple weeks back, the trailer for the new animated Disney film Tangled hit the web, which is apparently based on the Rapunzel story. But why not just call it “Rapunzel”? Well the L.A. Times has an answer:

After the less-than-fairy-tale results for its most recent animated release, “The Princess and the Frog,” executives at the Burbank studio believe they know why the acclaimed movie came up short at the box office.

Brace yourself: Boys didn’t want to see a movie with “princess” in the title.

This time, Disney is taking measures to ensure that doesn’t happen again. The studio renamed its next animated film with the girl-centric name “Rapunzel” to the less gender-specific “Tangled.”

So even though Kathryn Bigelow broke an 81 year Best Director Oscar winning streak… DUDES STILL TOTALLY OWN HOLLYWOOD. High fives, dudes. We did it.

No one wants to see some stupid princess complaining about her woman problems for two hours. We want to see swords and stones and space pirates and raining meatballs and TANGLED STUFF. “Tangled” is a movie title I can get behind. It’s strong enough for a woman, but pH balanced for manly dudes with junk.

“Rapunzel”? What is that, a WNBA team or something? Get out of here with your “Rapunzel.” Read the sign. This clubhouse says “No girls allowed.” Dudes, lets all go see Tangled and then hit up a strip club. Guys night out!

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