March
Monday

How Should Lil Wayne Spend His Year In Jail?

Lil Wayne started his one year prison sentence today for his gun possession charge from 2007. He could be out as early as October, but that’s still a long time from now. How should Weezy spend his months behind bars?

Here are some ideas, Wayne:

Figure out which classic films sync up perfectly with “Tha Carter III” (My guess is either The Maltese Falcon or Meatballs).

Help the warden launder money in an elaborate public works scheme but then escape through a sewer pipe and withdraw everything before you’re caught and wait for Morgan Freeman in Mexico.

Make every recipe in the Julia Child‘s prison cookbook.

Take some time to evaluate your relationship with Rivers Cuomo. I don’t think it’s helping either one of you.

Learn to whistle. Rap needs more whistling.

Convince the guards you’re actually FBI agent Sean Archer with Lil’ Wayne’s face.

Listen to that “Forever” song you do with Drake as much as possible, because it will never, ever get old. Seriously.