Executives from Toyota had to testify alongside the U.S. Secretary of Transportation at a hearing today — AHHHHHHHH Actual Newsssssss!!!!! [Covers head with Bill & Ted's DVD box set, screams "Amish Paradise" lyrics to himself] Ahh, whew, just had to cancel that out, I’m back to reality.
Anyway, it turns out, the U.S. Transportation Secretary, Ray LaHood, looks like an unholy Devastator-esque combination of Johnny Sack and Phil from The Sopranos, and is incapable of not looking like a villain in photographs:
See? We’re totally gonna find out he was behind it the whole time! It, meaning, whatever evil’s going on, I don’t know.
More proof in the gallery below. And don’t worry, plenty more posts about the U.S. Transportation Secretary to come. We’ll probably change our URL to “onlytransportationsecretarythings.org” (dot com is already taken by a site for experimental, supergraphic silent-cinema gay porn).
