Tonight is a very important night in both the world of Olympic Figure Skating and the world of Ladies and G-Guys. That’s because tonight, the latest crop of male figure skaters from around the globe will battle it out for the Gold with each of their “long programs.”
And something we’ve noticed this year, more than any other Winter Olympic year, is how hot all the male figure skaters are. Really! Even the ones that might not be your cup of icy tea have something going for them. Below, we’ve posted our favorite male figure skaters scheduled to compete tonight, and just what it is that makes them sexxxy.
Stephane Lambiel – Switzerland
Stephane is the Marius to our Cosette — those epaulettes alone are making us quiver with delight. Stephane might actually be an elaborate Twin Peaks-style stunt set up by David Lynch and Kyle MacLaughlin. Also, on Tuesday one of the commentators commented on his “soft knees.” How often do you meet a man with soft knees and hair?
Samuel Contesti – Italy
There’s only one eyebrow competing at the Vancouver Winter Olympic’s I’d like to take home to meet my parents… and it’s Samuel. Then again, I’ve always had a penchant for slight blue collar workers who love a good two-step.
Kevin van der Perren – Belgium
Rhinestoned bones is all you need to know about Kevin. Even he can’t get enough of his own costume… or is he actually in severe pain? Severe sexy pain?
Evgeny Plushenko – Russia
Evgeny combines 2 of my personal favorite things: The face of Adrien Brody and Plinko. And you know what? We’re rooting for him and we’re not pinkos, so there.
Vaughn Chipeur – Canada
Automatic props to Vaughn for picking easily the most masculine of all the figure skater’s attires. Blur your vision a bit and you might be wondering when Ryan Phillippe’s slight half-brother decided to take up skating. And check out that masculine jazz hand! Those I some spirit fingers I could hang with.
Evan Lysacek – US
Not necessarily our cup of black feathered tea, but a tall glass of lithe water no matter which way you ice it. This is a guy who is willing to pull his groin on national television.
Patrick Chan – Canada
Our favorite sexy Canasian skater literally defies gravity. Also a sign that he leaves his skates on in bed, not necessarily a bad thing…
Jeremy Abbott – US
Oh look! He has red hair!! Bye. (We had to include him, OK? Even he doesn’t seem that psyched about the decision.)
Brian Joubert – France
LOOK AT THIS HOT ASS FRENCH BIRDFACE:
Johnny Weir – US
He might not be the sexiest physical specimen of the games, but mentally, you’re looking at the sexiest motherf**cker in Canada right now at this moment as we speak. Even the pink tassel is like “Hey girl, beep me.”
