Any time I receive emails from Myspace, I feel like I’m being contacted by a delusional ex-girlfriend who I wasn’t even that into in the first place and now doesn’t realize it’s been over for three years. This awkwardness is compounded when Myspace starts offering me suggestions about what I should be doing for Valentine’s Day:
Why yes, Myspace, I would like to spend my Valentine’s Day going to dinner with a webcam link that instantly freezes my entire apartment! I could be all, “Would you like some champagne?” and she’d be like, “I’m a robot who just sent your email address to nine porn sites!” and I’d be like “I know we just met but I’m really feeling a connection here!” and she’d be like “XXXPH@T@S YE$$$$$$$$” and then I’d finally be happy.
Then I would play my new real lady some music from Myspace’s suggested Valentine’s playlist:
Then I’ll be like “Whooaaaaa, I’m getting laid so much you need to take it easy on the laying me!!!” and Spamgela (my future pet name for her) will be like “CLICK HERE MOTHERF***ER OF COURSE IT’S A VIRUS” and I’ll be like “Hehehehe you say the cutest things.”
I guess my overall point is, the new Facebook layout isn’t so bad.
