- Katy Perry and Russell Brand got engaged while on vacation in India, marking the first time in history that a giant, painted street elephant was able to roll his eyes. Also, they are perfect for each other like unrelated identical twins.
- Lindsay Lohan has accused ex-BFF Patrick “Pootie” Aufdenkamp of stealing from her, while the rest of the country accuses him of possibly being a gay Nazi war criminal.
- Sharon Stone is set to make an appearance on Law & Order: SVU, while Sharon Stone’s Vagina has opted to appear on NCIS: Los Angeles.
- Joan Rivers was not allowed to board a flight to Costa Rica from Newark due to some passport/boarding pass name confusion… so she took to Larry King to talk about it! That gate agent should be fired and then immediately hired to face off against Joan on a new season of Fox’s Celebrity Boxing.
- What do you get the person who has everything? Boom.
- The recent passing away of heiress Casey Johnson, also the recent girlfriend of Tila Tequila, is sad and no doubt an early loss. But it’s perhaps this line, spoken by Johnson’s ex-girlfriend to Radar, that is raising the most red flags for us: “On one occasion she (Tila) called me and a male friend screaming, saying people were breaking into her home. When I arrived, she was naked with a kitchen knife screaming, but no one was there.” It’s official: Tila Tequila needs to be stopped.
