If someone put a gun to our head and forced us to write infomercial copy for the Snuggle Suit, seen right, it would probably go something like this:
Has this ever happened to you? You’re headed to work, and cut yourself on those pesky, razor sharp shirt collars? Oh No! (Man profusely bleeding from hands as he ties his ties.) Or while putting on those constricting pantyhose, you accidentally pee the bed? Not again! (Woman sitting in giant soak stain on her duvet, looks around, eyebrows a-knit, and shrugs.)
You want to wear something softer, more comfortable, but Snuggies cause all that awwwful chaffing! (Heavyset Man and Woman, both wearing Snuggies to work with their bare asses hanging out, pat their thighs and make faces proving their in horrible, burning pain.)
Not anymore… because now… you can wear a Snuggle Suit! Snuggle Suit: Like a Robe, with Pants! Or a Snuggle, with an ass covering! And for only $99.99 (Ed. Note: How much we’d gladly pay for one) it can be yours!
Yes, people, only a few days in, and 2010 has not disappointed. The Snuggle Suit, first brought to our attention by TruTV’s Susie Felber, is probably the best gift your testicles and/or lady parts could ever receive. Now, feel free to answer your door in your robe with those Girl Scouts coming knocking, Old Man Grizzlyshvanz! Little Dotty won’t run home bawling forcing her mother to call the police after her daughter spied your goods, now will she? Thin mints for all.
But if the idea of wearing a robe to the opera suits you and your lifestyle, we suggest you ACT FAST and buy one of these things RIGHT NOW. Since posting about this human papoose yesterday, Susie notes that the price has already gone up FIVE DOLLARS. So head over to the JC Penney and buy one of these lifechanging one-piece fleece costumes before they SELL OUT and you’re the only IDIOT at work not one a ONE PIECE FLEECE SUIT.
And PS: If you think that we’re kidding, and that people would never wear this out of the house, please see our favorite review from the JC Penney website, posted ahead:
Written By: Blessed
Location: Davie, FL“I love that it can be worn as a lounger as much as Pj’s and you look more presentable. After getting red for Christmas last year, I immediately ordered black in two sizes and black for my mother-who is always cold. I bought my regular size in black and a bigger one so I can sleep in it an not feel restricted if it twists from rolling over. I eventually realize if I just took off the belt from my regular size, I could roll over with no restrictions, but it does tend to “flop open” and flash people – especially without the belt so I usually pin it or stick a hair clip on it if I am around the house and don’t need to be presentable – of course a cute tank top underneath would solve that problem, but I love the feel of fleece and a shirt underneath ruins the feel.
Happy New Year, All of America!!
