The above image, found via Joe Randazzo’s Twitter, appears to be a still from some sort of late night British infomercial where the presenter “hopes you die soon.” Spoken with a British accent, we’re sure this is actually much more polite than appearances suggest. But we can’t help but wonder: Just what sort of product is this old man hocking, exactly? And how soon is soon? Hopefully not within 28 days, lest we never receive our product.

Leave your best guesses in the comments. And if a British person wants to try to above number, “we would be most obliged.” (**American eye-roll**)