Transformers 2: Revenge Of The Fallen earned $60.6 million in its opening night, a box office record for a Wednesday (crushing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix’s $44.2 mil) and falling just $7 million short of The Dark Knight’s all-time opening night record.
Because I haven’t seen the movie yet, I will leave the reviewing of the film to this GChat conversation with my friend Steve, who went to the midnight opening and spent about an hour the next morning trying to convey the enormity of the film’s sucking. Enjoy:
me: how was the movie
Steven: horrible
it felt so long
and that john turturro line IS in it
[Steve is referring to the Roger Ebert review, which points out the John Turturro line "Oh, no! The machine is buried in the pyramid! If they turn it on, it will destroy the sun! Not on my watch!" This is only the beginning...]
me: wowee
Steven: there’s humping dogs
close up of john turturro’s butt
sam’s mom eats a pot brownie
the crowd loved it
me: is this a movie
not like a Summer Movie Wiki that the audience decides what goes in there
Steven: an old timey transformer that farts a parachute
there’s a decepticon that looks like a hot girl that tries to get to sam
me: even though he’s dating megan fox?
Steven: there’s also two jive talking autobots
me: does the old lady from Airplane talk to them
Steven: yes
[Review continues, after the jump]:
me: anything else?
Steven: it’s everything the quotes on rotten tomatoes say
it’s unbelievably bad
[Steve proceeds to pick out quotes from Rotten Tomatoes...]
“Leave it to Michael Bay to take the fun out of explosions.”
“I hated every 149 minutes. This is so bad it’s immoral. Michael Bay is a time-sucking vampire who will feast off your lost time. This is why the movie is so long.”
“Michael Bay has once again transformed garbage into something resembling a film, at least in the loosest sense: it can be run through a projector and used to sell millions of tickets.”
Steven: forgot to mention rainn wilson is sam’s teacher in college
me: uh oh, schticktime!
Steven: so unnecessary to have him there
the movie was more like a music video, just stuff happening
it was like when michael jordan was in that one michael jackson video playing basketball with him
“oh cool, now dwight’s on the screen”
oh hey now some new stuff’s happening
me: haha
Anyone see the movie yet? Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. Personally, I’m not worried about spoilers, but I guess some people might be, so, whatever.
