In the past, we have never really had a desire to pee all over Gene Simmons. Then, we watched Gene talk some smack about Adam Lambert. And then, strangely, we were met with a desire to pee all over this “rocker’s” face.

Well, America/World, WE ARE IN LUCK. That’s because this past weekend, urinal cakes were spotted in a New York City bar bearing Gene Simmons’ face on it. Witness:

In fact, our spy (note: our friend) reported that not only did Gene Simmons’ visage look up at you as your waste fountain splashed all over his digital likeness, but that some of the cakes ACTUALLY TALKED. This is, how do you say? Our idea of hell on Earth. And yet still, we can’t help but want to urinate all over the guy. So be warned, local gentlemen.