There are only 3 weeks left of American Idol. Do you know what that means? That means there are only 3 weeks left for me to have a reason to live. American Idol 8 is the first season of the show that I have sat through every episode, from the beginning (thank you, new DVR!), meaning my heart is now enmeshed with the stories of each and every remaining contestant (with the exception of Danny Gokey, because I’ve forgotten how to feel for him.)

So you would think that with only 3 weeks of the show remaining, Idol producers would pull out all the stops, choosing some kick ass themes to rouse (and arouse) the masses in the final push. This week’s theme? The Rat Pack.

OK, you know what? I love Frank Sinatra, DD Marty, all the guys from the ‘Pack (even you, Joey Bishop!) And who do you think will be mentoring these young, aimless souls through their quest to becoming America’s Idol? Michael Buble? The Grobez? The bones of JFK?

No. It’s this guy:

Jamie Foxx will be the “mentor” for the remaining contestants. Things he’ll probably teach them? You know, the important stuff… like “How to sing like a robot” and “How to be blind” and “How to blame it on the henny.” Also, how to make a hilarious horse face. You know… “the standards”.

PS: If the rumor that D-Gokez is singing “That’s Amore” is true, I might have to forego a recap because I will have possibly have flung myself over my fire escape railing.