This weekend, tragedy befell a nation, as news broke on Saturday that legendary actress and comedian of stage and screen Bea Arthur had passed away at 86. When, years from now, my children will ask “Mom, where were you when Bea passed?”, I’ll tell them of the beautiful spring day, the white wine in Central Park, the picnicking and laughing and, then, the phone call. And the text messages. Indeed, it seemed every gay friend of mine had sent out a phone blast alerting the world that Bea was gone. And, with her goes a comedy legend, beloved by all, a worldly talent who had remained in the spotlight for over 50 years.
So to celebrate one of my many comedic inspirations in life, BeaWE.tv (for today) has compiled our Top 10 Favorite Bea Arthur Moments. (And yes, this list is slightly different from our last Bea Arthur Top 10 list, posted here last year to celebrate her birthday.) If you can guess #1, you probably spend way too much time on the blog. Today, my Golden Girls necklace is a little lonelier.
10. Rock Hudson and Bea sing “Sniff Swig Puff!”. Easily the catchiest and most upbeat song about drug addicts ever sung. Two old alkies just ramblin’ on about weed and pills and poppers and cocaine. The lyrics are simply genius, and also probably written by someone addicted to “horse.”
9. The Sex and the City Parody. Would it be wrong to say that Bea makes a prettier Carrie Bradshaw than Sarah Jessica Parker? Consdering we’re still in mourning, no, it isn’t wrong. Also, Mona from Who’s The Boss, Sally Struthers and Mrs. Garrett? Tell me this clip won an Emmy, because seriously, this is to pop culture lovers what unicorn shlongs are to gay wizards.
8. Bea Sings The Man in the Moon. Did somebody say gay wizards? This clip of Bea sporting the original costume from the animated motion picture Fantasia sure did!
7. Sophia and Dorothy sing “I Got You Babe”. Classic Golden Girls moment, featuring two lost angels. Let’s hope there are cheesy costume shops in Heaven.
6. The Star Wars Holiday Special. Not only a comically dated puppet video, but also a reminder to donate some money to your local video restoring non-profit, because it took me about a minute to realize this wasn’t some sort of underground child pornography.
5. Bea Arthur and a Seal. The woman could even upstage a F**KING SEAL. SHE IS NO JOKE AMERICA/WORLD.
4. Johnny Carson Interviews a Legend. This clip might be a little long for some of you, but watching Bea and Johnny Carson interact shed new light on Bea as a lady. Also, if anyone in her family cares to donate that luscious floor length sleeveless caftan she’s sporting to a good cause (me), I promise to take good care of it (wear it morning, noon, and night.)
3. Magical Canadian TV Commercial. The special effects used in this ad — 20 years old, mind you — are BREATHTAKING!! Bea flies through the sky like Superwoman in the name of Canadian bargains. This is special, and chances are you’ve never seen it.
2. Bea Arthur Kills at the Pam Anderson Roast. Possibly one of the funniest things ever recorded by modern man, as Bea reads passages from Pam’s book to the luckiest audience in the universe, who can now say they heard Bea Arthur utter the word “erection”. (If you’re in a rush, fast forward to 4:44… language NSFW)
1. “It’s Made of Horse Urine.” Our favorite thing Bea Arthur has ever done ever ever ever. It’s an ad for Premarin, and if you don’t know what it’s made of… just click play.
BONUS VIDEO: Bea Sings Dreamgirls with Nell Carter.
See Also: Bea Arthur vs. Angela Lansbury.
