Another update from the my God this is a slow news week Gossip Story of the Millenium:

Michael Phelps responded to the rumors that he’s dating Miss California Carrie Prejean with the following…I guess this qualifies as a statement?

“I’m not dating anybody,” he told Usmagazine.com Wednesday at the opening of the Omega flagship boutique in NYC. “I’m single. My private life stays private.”

“I’m not saying I support her,” Phelps then added. “I’m not saying I don’t support her.”

Phelps added, “All I’m saying is, I nailed the crap out of her. And a handful of other Miss U.S.A. Pageant contestants. But I don’t really care about the gay marriage issue. The only ‘marriage’ issue I care about is the marriage between my penis and the vaginas of beauty queens, and I did that, a bunch of times. But my private life stays private, and I have no public stance on gay marriage. And I’m totally single, other models out there, and I will have sex with you. Also, abortion? Not pro-choice, not pro-life, just sex with models, because I’m very single. Am I making myself clear?”