This weekend saw the return of America’s yearly parade of future Donald Trump wives, the Miss USA Pageant, where freshly browned blonde girls of all shapes and sizes parade years of starvation and mental motherly beatings for the chance at winning a fur coat and community college scholarship. (Ed. Note: Was that too bitter? My “B”.) Easily the best part of the competition is the “Questions” segment, where years of learning how to walk in a circle immediately go to waste and the contestants are forced to actually, you know… “think.”

Now, clearly no one could top the idiocy of Miss South Carolina’s answer in 2007 (which, for the record, has been viewed on Youtube almost 35 million f**king times), becaussuh summuh people out there in our nation like, such as, computer owners, and like the internet community, enjoy watching pretty rere’s suffer in the spotlight.

Admittedly, the following clip will delivery nowhere near the joygasms of South Carolina’s ploy to get people to donate to our public school system. But Miss California, who many pegged to take the crown, may have cost herself the victory after voicing her opinion on gay marriage. Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton — likely the most recognizable judge in attendance — asked her if she supported gay marriage, only to find out Miss California’s decidedly pro Opposite Marriage agenda:

Let this be a lesson to all future Miss USA contestants: Never, ever piss off the gays. Because they made you… and they will destroy you. Shouldn’t pageant girls know better? The gays run that show! Miss California deserved to lose the crown, if only for being Rere Retardo (and, also possibly such as a homophobe.)

(Image via The Daily Telegraph)