The following story from Lil’ Wayne’s Playboy interview about losing his virginity is just too sublime not to simply reprint so we can all bask in its mind-exploding hormonal glory.

If Nick Jr. ever adds a Letters to Penthouse segment…

I was 11 and the girl was 13. She had every board game you could imagine. I liked board games. We was playing Win Lose or Draw and on the board she wrote, “F*ck me.” Now I was 11, and I didn’t even know it meant “intercourse.” I just knew it was a cuss word, so I was like, “Why is she cussing herself out?” She said, “Do you want to play ‘Press Your Luck’? Well, the game is in my closet.” She had a walk-in closet, so she said, “Go get it, it’s right to the right….” When I walk to the closet she came in and cut the lights off and took off my pants, and I remember my ass was cold up against the wall. I was like, “What the hell!?” When I tried to push her off me, I felt that she was naked also, so I just stepped back and let her do what she do.

The story hits really close to home for me personally, cause I actually lost my virginity when I was seven and playing Candyland, and the girl (nine) was like “How would you like to come over here and get stuck in MY gooey gumdrops?” and I was like “ummmm, no, obviously – I don’t want to have to wait until I draw a yellow card to move again. What a stupid question.” Then I drew Plumpy and got really mad and when my concentration was thrown for a split second she took my pants off and had sex with me. At least I can laugh about it now.

(via Dlisted)