NEW COUPLE ALERT:

The rumors are true. Real Househusband Slade Smiley has swooped in and snatched up Real Housewife of the O.C. and half-widower Gretchen Rossi. Slade was a part of the first season of Real Housewives along with his niece girlfriend Jo, however when the twosome broke up, they were quickly eliminated from the cast of recurring characters. So either Slade has figured out a genius way of placing himself right back into the spotlight for the next season, or Gretchen finally realized that sex is a lot better when the nurses aren’t watching you through parted blinds.

And somewhere in heaven, Jeff is sighing super loudly. And somewhere, here on Earth, a pink motorcycle gathers the dust of the dead. And somewhere in LA, Jo cuts her bangs using rusty Ikea scissors, wondering what happened to the budding young woman she once was. And somewhere, Jeff’s jewelry sits in a safety deposit box, sweating the next 30 years out until Gretchen is forced to pawn them for food money. And somewhere, we wait for the next season.

More pics ahead!

Look, we ain’t gonna front: They make a nice couple. And dare I say Slade was the hottest (albeit sorta douchiest) of all the Househusbands. And we all know Gretchen makes a great stepmom, flaunting her baubles about for all the kids to see. We wish them the best. Tamra — sorry… tamRAAAH — is gonna have a heart attack.