- The off-again/off-again relationship between John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston is off-again. And in a related story, the world is still turning.
- The whirlwind
romanceinsemination between Sarah Palin’s daughter Bristol and Levi Johnston has come to an end, as the couple has called off their engagement. Memo to Bristol: No, you can’t get an abortion when the baby is four months old. - Jada Pinkett-Smith is leaving acting to become a teacher at a new LA elementary school opened up along with husband Will Smith. Imagine her embarassment on the first day when the principal demanded to see her hall pass, and then dragged her by the ear into the detention hall.
- The best 80s movie ever, Heathers, is going to be turned into a musical. Uch, corn nuts and musical theater? It’s like I’ve fake killed myself and gone to heaven..
- I don’t even know what to do with this headline. It’s like an article from The Killer Unicorn News Times, in that I refuse it to be real. Warning: It’s horrible.
