Billy Mays may be gone, but his bearded spirit can take solace in the fact that the art form that is the modern-day television infomercial has simply never been stronger. Let’s take a look back through the informative year that informed us informatively with this list of the 13 Most Stupidly Convincing Infomercials of 2009. Get your credit cards ready, cause here come the blue screens…
13. Jump Snap
It’s a jump rope without the rope! But also not nothing!
12. Bottle Top
I can save thirty cents worth of generic cola, logo-blocked beer, or ‘energy drink’? Gimmie five more examples of things that are in cans and I’m sold.
11. Big Top Cupcake
Why waste time on all those little cupcakes? Just bake one it’s called a f***ing cake BIG cupcake!
10. Foot Brush
Let’s shoot “Haven’t you ever heard of the foot brush?” dude from the Citizen Kane ‘through the floor’ angle…
9. Drop Stop
Slide Trombone = Never Not Effective.
8. Dirty Dancing Workout
As topical as it is pelvic gyration-having.
7. Hope You Die Soon
No idea what this British infomercial is for, but my attention has been got’d:
6. Mr. T FlavorWave Oven (New Version)
I’m only on board if he actually says “I pit–alright, I’m on board.
5. Dog Snuggie
Ideal for a species with no concept of shame.
4. Kush Support
What’s this about sideboobs?
3. Shake Weight
What’s this about handjobs?
2. Comfort Wipe
Yes I do have trouble wiping my ass by hand, but there’s nothing I can do aboutOH MY GOD NO WAY!!!
1. Doc Bottoms Aspray
This won the Nobel Prize for Cartoon Stink. Also everything else.
