- A man in The Bronx was arrested today after the FBI pinpointed him as the person who leaked X-Men Origins: Wolverine to the internet before its release, officially ending all crime ever in The Bronx.
- A source tells ABC News that the Tiger Woods divorce is “100 Percent On”. The source? A Southwest Airlines commercial.
- Tiger Woods also never flirted with Jessica Simpson, confirmed Jessica Simpson by yelling “Can’t believe that I’m on the cover of star magazine with Tiger Woods, what a JOKE!” really loudly in the middle of a crowd of strangers.
- Garth Brooks is suing an Oklahoma hospital after donating $500,000 for a building named after his mother that was never actually built. In its defense, the hospital swears they referred to their new company car as the “Garth Brooks’ Mom Lamborghini”.
- And finally, whatever the opposite of “Merry” is, cue it up for this list of the 19 Most Depressing Nativity Scenes.
