Sad day. Sad sad sad day. Hollywood’s most “WTF Seriously?” couple — the gorgeous Jake Gyllenhaal and the adorable Reese Witherspoon — have called it quits. Yup, that’s right. They are no longer dating, kissing, sleeping with each other, buying coffee together… you name it, it’s over.
So. I mean, not that it matters at all. But… (super high squeak voice) do any of you guys think that all those Ted Casablanca blind items might be about Jake? Look, it’s no big deal seriously. But pretty sure this break-up could only mean one thing…
JAKE GYLLENHAAL MIGHT BE TOOTHY TILE (allegedly).
If you’re not familiar with Toothy’s toothtacular antics via the mildly autistic Ted Casablanca, allow us to direct you to this website featuring all of Toothy’s items.
Alls you needs to know is: Toothy’s a hot actor who likes dudes. And at this point, Ted’s ruled just about everyone out except Jake. The story goes that his relationship with Reese was a put-on to promte their film Rendition, and all the while Jake has had a steady boyfriend. The break-up doesn’t try to quash those rumors one bit. The tooth is out there.
Then again, who gives a sh*t? Jake is hot, yes, and a nice guy no matter which way you tile it. Funny , sweet… frankly, we’d be surprised if he wasn’t G. Even his abs have jazz hands! Jake’s a catch, no matter which bathing suit area is holding the mitt.
And on a completely unrelated note, please click ahead to watch our #1 favorite Brokeback Mountain fan compilation, set to our #4 favorite love song.
