Tiger Woods’ Mistress Sexes It Up For The Paps

This is Rachel Uchitel, otherwise known as “The Receiver of the Tiger Woods Voicemail,” seen with her regular, every day expression while at the West Village Veterinary Hospital.

It’s like someone took Sandra Bullock and then removed every single one of herredeemable quality, and then dipped her face in Renaissance Fair Wax, and then pushed her off a bridge, and then someone effed her, and then she had to take her dog to the hospital.