Well, the ess has hit the eff for Tiger Woods today. First, his wife breaks his face with a golf club, in what is now known as the “It Was A Car Accident. JK, She Beat Me” Incident. Then, it was time to do some damage control, Tiger-style. US Weekly has obtained a voicemail left by Tiger, sounding as hilariously Caucasian and nervous as ever, asking his paramour to remove her name from the outgoing voicemail message and replacing with a simpler, less accusatory phone number. One can only assume the answering machine sounded like this “Hello, You Have Reached (different, slut voice) I’m Doing Your Husband (robot commences) Please leave a message after the tone.”
Anyway, this voicemail pretty much defines the term “Busted.” And speaking of which, where are his PR people throughout all of this? Is anyone controlling anything? Can’t NIKE help out in some way?
Warning: It Autoplays, so you can listen to it ahead. The Us Weekly chimes at the beginning and end are almost kind of smug, no?
