This Hillshire Farms ad for Smoked Sausage reads like a ground meat snuff film. Every. single. thing. about it. creeps us out. Clearly the Dad at the beginning takes the ax murderer cake, but the teenage twins from The Shining don’t hurt this commercials chances for airing in between our nightmares tonight. Especially the one who wants a kebab penis for dinner. She’s not playin.

Fine, it’s no singing peperoni faces, but it’s a close second.