I cannot believe this clip of Christopher Walken reading the lyrics to “Poker Face” has made its way onto the internet and is being passed around.

This is the INTERNET, people — it’s a place to examine Renaissance paintings, to listen to classical concertos, and to ponder deep philosophical musings. Since when did wacky one-minute videos become part of the internet??

Frankly, I am shocked and appalled by this new revelation. Lord Phineas J. Internet III must be rolling over in his grave.