The SF Weekly put on a brave face and did what so few of us literally have the balls to do: Attend The Exotic Erotica Ball, a Halloween of sorts for people who take the “Slutty Nurse” look a lil too far (see: Nipple Clamps, Ball Gags, etc.) In this helpful blog post, they’ve compiled all of the SFW images to come out of the event (more than you would think).

But no image is perhaps as curious, as mesmerizing, as subtly erotic and crotch-tingling as that of the above couple. Oh, you know the type: Mr. “Hangs to the Left” and Mrs. “She Said Whaaaat?!” No word on what look, exactly, they were going for. The “Fat Oscars”? Maybe. “C3PeenO”? Yes. “Gilt Androgyny”? Definitely. “The Public BJ Twinzz”? For a fact. Long story short, we love them. But we will never… ever… unsee them.

Ahead, a handy GIF of what your dreams will look like until you X| (die).