The title of this visual crotch thesis was coined by Urlesque’s Stephen Lenz, who, after I sent him the above image of Kevin Costner in Germany, announced that he had been silent long enough on “the whole Costner bulge thing”, and claimed to be able to write a thesis about it. Then we both realized were weren’t smart enough to write a thesis on anything, but loved coming up with titles for things.

But here is what we do know: Costner’s can rock out with his c out in a pair of Dad jeans, whether or not there’s a tin cup tucked in there. As though that soul patch wasn’t already leading our eyes down there anyway. Oh Costner, you grizzly 54-year-old son of a bitch, you haven’t changed a day.