- Nicole Richie and Joel Madden have introduced their new baby, Sparrow Jonathan Midnight Madden. Ha! Just kidding — it’s Sparrow James Midnight Madden. I was just poking fun at wacky celeb baby names.
- The Kanye West death rumors that were circulating yesterday were, shockingly, just an internet hoax. But that story about Scott Baio and Jaleel White murdering Alf while Kirk Cameron filmed it was true.
- Unauthorized Simpsons biography?? Done and done.
- Nickelodeon has acquired the rights to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, giving them a huge edge in the 8-year-olds 15 years ago demographic.
- Roman Polanski is reportedly considering confronting his criminal charges in the United States. Government officials warn that a Polanski U.S. trial would immediately escalate the America/France Tension Alert to the rarely-used “Freedom Fries” level.
