Oh dear Jesus yes thank you. Yesterday, we told you about The Big Top Cupcake, a cake pan that turns your average, old, regular delicious cakes into brand new, completely not average, delicious cupcakes. This ad said: “Cupcake bigger than this? We f**king dare you.”
Bad News, BTCC: Someone took your dare. And has created the most magical thing ever…
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the future is here!!! For the low, low price of $25,000, you can own a giant cupcake that you can drive around at maximum speeds of 7 miles per hour — slow enough to be noticed, but fast enough to outrun your local hallucinating obese person.
This incredible offering is part of Neiman Marcus’ Annual Christmas Catalog (which is just heavy enough with which to beat a homeless person with.) The catalog has got some real doozies this year — including a $200,000 dinner with John Lithgow and other literary types (seriously) and His & Hers Sports Aircrafts for a cool quarter of a mill — but it’s the Cupcake Car that really takes the over-privileged a-hole cake. (Our favorite kind.)
The Neiman Marcus provided description reads like bakery fan fiction. Slip this on and take a read:
Put on your matching hat, slip under the muffin top of your Cupcake Car, and let the world figure itself out for awhile. Get (or give) the sheer, joyful chaos of a gift that is mind-blowing, triple-dog-dare, double-infinity forever cool. Make the kids or grandkids literally squeal with joy. Bring it to work and buzz the breakroom. Crash parades! Putter about the ‘hood. Ever had a crowd of kids chasing after you just for the crazy gleeful heck of it? (No worries, the top speed is a comfy-safe 7 mph.) What’s it made of? A 24-volt electric motor, a heavy-duty battery, sheet metal, wire, fabric, wood…and mad genius. Launched at Burning ManSM as a cooperative art car project, the Cupcake Car sprang from the fevered mind of Bay Area artist Lisa Pongrace and her less-rules-more-laughs posse of artists and techno geeks. Yours will be tricked out with your favorite topping, so start thinking flavors.
Mine will be flavored like money with a faint hint of “What college loans?”
After the jump, “LOL” video evidence that these things actually exist!
