Rolling Stone Discovers “Meghen Fox” Actress (Am I Saying That Right?)

Wow that is one handsome dame ya found there, Rolling Stone. What’s her name? “Megan Fox,” you say? I been in the talkies since dang near aught seven, and I knows a face that’ll rake in the greenbacks when I sees one. I want this gal’s mug plastered on every trade from here ta Kalamazoo, ya hear? And do it quick, see, before someone else discovers her. Now bring me my sarsaparilla!