Bet you thought you’d never hear the words Susan Boyle again, right? Wrong. She’s back. And hello, of course she’s back! After all, her handlers bought her a comb. A comb. You think they’re going to let that go to waste? Unlikely.
Boyle is back! And much like those other kinds of boils, the ones that are warm, tender, and full of pus, it seems that Susan will be equally hard to get rid of. Today, we get her latest project: A cover of The Rolling Stones song “Wild Horses”. Just because Mick Jagger is still alive doesn’t mean he can’t do some competitive grave rolling while listening. I love heavy-handed elevator muzak as much as the next musical theater fan, but she honestly sounds like a deranged elderly woman singing to herself after accidentally getting locked in her local market’s meat locker. And that ain’t right.
And after listening to this, I would honestly like to beg wild horses to drag me away. It. is. that. bad.
