By now, most of you have seen firsthand and/or read about Kanye West’s unbelievably childish and rude interruption of Taylor Swift’s Award Acceptance for Best Female Video. These antics actually got Kanye kicked out of the VMAs. If you missed it, here is video of the occurrence:
Here are 6 Theories:
6. HE’S GONE FULL RETARD We’re actually serious about this. Only a few hours after the incident, Kanye blogged a sort of non-pology, saying that he’s sorry for what he did, but still believing that the action was completely and totally necessary BECAUSE BEYONCE DESERVED IT YEEZY. Read this and cry a blood tear that this man is definitely wealthier than you are:
Top 5 Theories Ahead.
5. HAIR WARNING: Kanye was still a little zonked and light-headed after the Ghost of Keith Haring visited him with a buzzsaw (much like he once did to an unsuspecting Grace Jones) as evidenced here:
4. HUG LIFE: Kelly Clarkson — one of this year’s VH1 Divas, and now we know why — wonders aloud on her blog I Am Kelly if Kanye is acting out following a less than warm childhood:
Dear Kanye,
What happened to you as a child?? Did you not get hugged enough??… I mean, I’ve seen you do some pretty sh*tty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you…which is pretty odd since I don’t even personally know you. The best part of this evening is that you weren’t even up for THIS award and yet you still have a problem with the outcome. Is winning a moon man that much of a life goal?? You can have mine if it will shut you up. Is it that important, really??…
On a side note, Beyonce has always been a class act and proved again tonight that she still is. Go TEXAS!!Taylor Swift, you outsell him ….that’s why he’s bitter. You know I love your work! Keep it up girl!
KC :)
If we come across Kelly at the event this Thursday, we will high five her for the world.
3. #1 SH*T RECORD:
Singer Pink thinks it might have something to do with the fact that Kanye is a Guinness World Record holder as “World’s Largest Piece of Dookie”:
@Pink: Kanye west is the biggest piece of sh*t on earth. Quote me.
You can see more Celebrity Twitter reactions here.
2. WRONG PLACE, WRONG TIME: Kanye thought for a brief moment that he was at an event that was much, much, much, much more important than the VMAs:
1. BLAME IT ON THE ALCOHOL: Kanye was not in his right mind, as he had just downed a bottle and a half of Henny. He was so drunk, in fact, that he insisted he would not leave the show until security found his date, who just happened to be a Giant Bootysnake from Planet Androgynintonic whom he also hallucinated:
This blog post seems to confirm this theory:
Kanye was drunk. When he came into the Hall he was chugging on a handle of what looked like Hennessy. He was mingling with everyone (I cannot stress that enough) and preening for Amber Rose as he passed the bottle around
That’s a Bingo, folks.
Also… Amber Rose? Is that Booty Starship’s name?? No, really, look at this profile and tell me the girl isn’t from Outer Space:
What’s your theory behind Kanye’s wildly inappropriate outburst? Hint: “He’s an assh*le” counts as a theory.
