You may notice that today’s Bestweekever.tv blog is missing something that is as vital to us as the computers we breathe on: That thing being a Project Runway recap. Well, there’s a great explanation. I am currently working remotely from Los Angeles while I simultaneously do some West Coast stand-up and “take meetings” (meetings with Carl Jr. to talk about how delicious that Low Carb Burger of his is.) My best friend who resides in LA has given me her apartment for this time while she travels to Africa to teach dance (really, my friends are amazing), and given that she is “of a certain breed” (= genius WASP), she doesn’t have any cable television.
This has proven quite difficult for me, a bona fide “television addict”, as I putter around the house arranging things like an expectant war widow gearing up for the big reunion. My evenings which were previously filled with a slew of A&E reality programming, House Hunter International marathons, every and any piece of garbage Bravo decides to put on air, and of course EVERY VH1 SHOW EVER CREATED ALWAYS, were now being spent in entirely new ways: Going out to… dinner… with people, “walking around”, grocery shopping… reading. It’s new and confusing territory for me, but one day at a time. One day at a time.
Here’s the upside: My pal does, actually, have a TV and DVD player, and despite its lack of a cable connection, I’m making due for myself. For example, during a recent trip to Target, I noticed that both seasons 1 and 2 of the 90s hit sitcom Martin were on sale for a mere $19.99. Being of a certain breed myself (= hoarding Jew), I couldn’t turn this down.
The Martin DVD’s have proved invaluable to me, keeping me retro company when I have no choice but to stay indoors. Certain episodes — particularly one entitled “Variety Show” — have reminded me what things like Wild Hogs made me forget: That Martin Lawrence is a true comedy genius.
The only… slight… issue I seem to be facing with this Martin arrangement I have going for myself is that of the DVD menu, which plays the Martin theme song over… and over… and over again, mad infinitum. So there I’ll be, laughing and drifting off into sleep, only to wake up 4 hours later with blood pouring out of my ears as the “wikkka wika wikkka wika wikkka wika wikkka wika” record scratching Freddy Krueger‘s its way into my subconscious. I’m basically suffering from MPTSD.
So while all of you privileged cable subscribers were privy to all of Heidi and Tim Gunn’s fabulous ways last night, I was getting the noose ready set to this hilarious theme music. Won’t you sample my pain for but 30 seconds?
Those of you in LA! I’ll be performing next Wednesday night, 8/26, at Laughing with the Stars with Tom Arnold at the Laugh Factory! Very excited about this, and would love to see you there. You can buy tickets here!
