- A man claiming to be Miley Cyrus’ “secret fiancee” has been arrested for stalking for a second time. Which reminds me, Michelle, would you mind covering the blog the next few months? This lame judge just doesn’t understand true love.
- Columbia Pictures has reached a deal to adapt footage from Michael Jackson’s final concert rehearsals into a movie. A spokesperson for the studio said, “Has enough time passed that I can make a cash register noise now? CA-CHINGGGGGG!”
- Steven Tyler was airlifted to a hospital after falling offstage during a concert. God could only tolerate “Just Push Play” so many times and gave him a little nudge.
- True Blood co-stars Anna Paquin and Stephen Moyer got engaged. “True Blood?” More like, “True VAMPIRES!” I mean, “Love.” Crap.
- Leonardo DiCaprio and Ridley Scott are teaming up to adapt the novel Brave New World into a feature film. Ummmm…hello? ALREADY BEEN DONE.
