It’s been too damn long since we compiled a random, nerdy Simpsons list here on BWE, but we figured this slow-ass pop culture August was as good a time as any, so here goes.
During a recent conversation with my Simpsons nerd friends (aka, my friends), we raised the topic of Homer’s odd obsession over the years with random, inanimate objects, one of the more subtle but consistent running themes throughout the entire run of the show (or at least the good years, before we stopped couting). Without further Apu (he’s been zinged and he loves it), please enjoy this eclectic, if non-topical, gallery of Homer Simpson’s 25 Favorite Inanimate Objects (float over pics for additional quotes):
25. Henry Kissinger’s Glasses (“$pringfield”)
24. Weather Station (“Marge on the Lam”)
23. A Shoehorn, Just Like in the Movies (“Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington”)
22. Old Calendars and TV Guides (“Bart Gets An Elephant”)
21. Superstar Microphone (“Radio Bart”)
20. Toy Store Piano (“Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy”)
19. The Neighbors’ Wire Hangers, Expired Medicine, And Old Newspapers
18. Spinemelter 2000 (“Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?”)
17. Ratty Dollar Bill (“Lisa’s Rival”)
16. Billy Beer (“The Otto Show”)
15. Krusty’s Seltzer-Spitting Doorbell (“Bart’s Inner Child”)
14. Jack-O-Lanterns From Past Halloweens
13. Complimentary Mouthwash / Shower Curtain (“The Last Temptation of Homer Simpson”)
12. Airhorn From The Marina (“Treehouse Of Horror IV”)
11. Blinking Lights (“The Mysterious Voyage Of Homer”)
10. A Poodle’s Puffy Tail (“Fear of Flying”)
[Not technically "inanimate, but because the obsession is specifically with the tail and not the animal, our judges have counted it]
9. Sir Oinks-a-Lot’s Tail (“Homer Goes to College”)
8. Gun (“The Cartridge Family”)
7. Tom Landry’s Hat (“You Only Move Twice”)
6. Drinking Bird (“Brother, Can You Spare Two Dimes?” / “King-Size Homer”)
5. Sugar Pile (“Lisa’s Rival”)
4. Lisa’s Jug (“Homer the Vigilante”)
3. Free Trampoline (“Bart’s Inner Child”)
2. Boxy (“Rosebud”)
1. Anything Ned Flanders Owns
Weed Wacker (“When Flanders Failed”)
TV Tray (“Lisa’s First Word”)
T-Shirt (“When Flanders Failed”)
Assassin Shoes (“Bart’s Dog Gets an F”)
Power Sander (“Marge on the Lam”)
BONUS LEAST FAVORITE INANIMATE OBJECT: Carbon Rod (“Deep Space Homer”)
Others we forgot (excluding food items, which we omitted cause it would’ve been a list unto itself)? Leave ‘em in the comments.
