Michael Jackson. Farah Fawcett. Billy Mays. Walter Cronkite. Now, the year of celebrity tragedies continues with the biggest shocker of them all — the death of Britain’s famous 64-pound carp, Benson.

According to this news report, Benson survived getting caught 63 times (they must have one hell of a size restriction) but couldn’t survive eating “uncooked nuts.” Fortunately, his owner maintains a wry, British sense of humor about the death, and the nut-murderer will get away scot-free:

Expect the fish nut-murder story to make its way into a Law & Order episode sometime next season. Armand Assante will play the fish.