We recently brought you a list of The 15 Most Annoying Movies Yet to Come Out in 2009. Today, we get a case of the “Optimisms” with this list of 15 Movies You Won’t Want to Miss in 2009, replete with trailers. Let us know which movies you’re excited to see this year in the comments!
15. The Fantastic Mr. Fox
Release: November 13th
Stars: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Bill Murray
IMDB’s Plot: Angry farmers, tired of sharing their chickens with a sly fox, look to get rid of their opponent and his family. Based on the book by Roald Dahl.
Why It Looks Awesome: This film, based on a book by the delightful if you forget about all the Jew-hatey stuff Roald Dahl (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, Matilda, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory [characters]), is shot entirely in stop-motion animation, meaning everything will automatically take on director Wes Anderson’s deadpan, whimsical charm simply by being jumpy and sluggish and awkward.
Still, the movie looks totally badass. The trailer makes it look like a colorful, forest-animal version of Ocean’s Eleven — maybe just because Foxy is voiced by George Clooney, but more likely because the entire trailer literally feels like Ocean’s Eleven.
Check out this trailer, because it pretty much sums it up: there is a fox. And he is fantastic. Also he prefers to be acknowledged politely by his title.
@ Yahoo! Video
14. The Informant!
Release: October 9th
Stars: Matt Damon, Melanie Lynskey, Tony Hale
IMDB’s Plot: The U.S. government decides to go after an agri-business giant with a price-fixing accusation, based on the evidence submitted by their star witness, vice president turned informant Mark Whitacre.
Why It Looks Awesome: For beginners, this Steven Soderbergh directed comedy thriller stars some of your favorite bold-faced comedic names, including Patton Oswalt, Arden Myrin, Scott Adsit and comedic legend Scott Bakula. Plus, in an unexpected turn or mind-melting events not seen since The Flintstones met The Jetsons, America’s favorite pop culture phenoms Joel McHale and Paul F. Tompkins make appearances as well. But if that isn’t enough to get your ass in a seat, perhaps this poster of Matt Damon’s 40 Year Old Virgin impression will do the trick.
Ahead, 13 more movies you won’t want to miss in 2009. We’ve got a great cinematic year ahead, no thanks to Tyler Perry of course.
13. Ponyo
Release: August 14th
Stars: Noah Lindsey Cyrus, Frankie Jonas, Betty White
IMDB’s Plot: An animated adventure centered on a 5-year-old boy and his relationship with a goldfish princess who longs to become human.
Why It Looks Awesome: Disney is making a bold move with this one, casting no-name nobodies Noah Cyrus and Frankie Jonas in the lead roles, despite having no family connections with famous people whatsoever.
Still, this is from Hayao Miyazaki, the mastermind behind Spirited Away and Princess Mononoke (our favorite Claire Danes movie after T3: Rise of the Machines.) The man is like the Ayumi Hamasaki of movies, you know what we’re sayin’? Move over, Teinosuke Kinugasa – there’s a new legend in, er, Japan’s equivalent of Hollywood. (Ed. Note: Props to Intern Zack Mast for his heretofore unknown amazing knowledge of Japanese cinema.)
12. District 9
Release: August 14th
Stars: Sharlto Copley, David James, Jason Cope
IMDB’s Plot: A sci-fi/action story set in a fictional world, where extraterrestrials have become refugees in South Africa.
Why It Looks Awesome: Peter Jackson is producing this sci-fi political satire, set in an alternate reality where aliens struggle with what is basically an allegory for 1940s Japanese internment camps. Finally, someone in Hollywood has the cajones to speak up against Franklin “D” Roosevelt’s blatant disregard for our civil liberties. That man has been repeatedly rolling over the Constitution for too long!
11. The Men Who Stare at Goats
Release: November 6th
Stars: Ewan McGregor, George Clooney, Kevin Spacey
IMDB’s Plot: A reporter in Iraq (McGregor) might just have the story of a lifetime when he meets Lyn Cassady (Clooney), a guy who claims to be a former member of the U.S. Army’s First Earth Battalion, a unit that employs paranormal powers in their missions.
Why It Looks Awesome: If you were to ask us what one thing we wish we could do for the rest of our waking lives, the answer would be simple: Staring at goats. Oh, goats. Earth’s most hilarious creature that sort of looks and definitely sounds like people. So any man that shares this goat-staring fetish is certainly a man we could hang wit.
Oh, and if that man just happens to be our favorite actor alive Ewan McGregor or close 7th George Clooney, well, all the better. Even if this is a war movie that might not have any goats, we will choose to believe it is full of them. In fact, while the trailer isn’t officially out yet, allow this short video to offer you a taste of what will surely be 2 straight hours of this:
Or, for even more “LOL”s, check out this clip from a BBC special about this special goat-staring military operation. While the beginning is certainly… special… 3:18 is where things really pick up.
10. Inglourious Basterds
Release: August 21st
Stars: Brad Pitt, Diane Kruger, Eli Roth
IMDB’s Plot: An American-led killing squad known as “The Basterds” terrorize the Nazis in German-occupied France during World War II.
Why It Looks Awesome: It’s about damn time Quentin Tarantino tackled World War II, considering he is arguably the best living director at handling violence in an always-original, interesting, and stylistic manner. The film also features Brad Pitt and Eli Roth in an almost certainly epic “My D Is Bigger Than Yours” showdown.
Moreover, the movie looks hilarious, a quality that modern WWII films seem afraid to embrace. (Thanks a lot, Steven Spielberg.)
9. Extract
Release: September 4th
Stars: Jason Bateman, Kristen Wiig, Ben Affleck
IMDB’s Plot: The owner of a flower-extract plant (Bateman), tries to contend with myriad personal and professional problems, such as his potentially unfaithful wife (Wiig), a hot new temp (Mila Kunis), and employees who want to take advantage of him.
Why It Looks Awesome: Two words: Jason Bateman. Let’s throw two more words into the mix: Ben Affleck. Oh wait, hold on… yes… we’re feeling two more words coming up: Career comeback. Also, Jason Bateman again.
8. Cold Souls
Release: August 7th
Stars: Paul Giamatti, Emily Watson, Dina Korzun
IMDB’s Plot: Paul (Giamatti) is an actor who feels bogged down by his participation in a production of Chekov’s play, Vanya. His condition which leads him to an organization that will store his soul while he treads the boards, though complications (and international travel) arise when his soul goes missing
Why It Looks Awesome: Writer-director Charlie Kaufman Sophie Barthes scores again in his her follow-up to Synecdoche, New York Happiness, once again proving that Philip Seymour Hoffman Paul Giamatti reigns supreme atop the character actor throne.
The movie has serious potential. Kaufman Barthes is now five-for-five one-for-two writing original, quirky premises and executing them with precision. Let’s also not forget the inclusion of our Honorary 101st Silver Fox David Strathairn, and oh, hey, pun title! Sold.
7. The Invention of Lying
Release: September 25th
Stars: Ricky Gervais
IMDB’s Plot: A comedy set in a world where no one has ever lied, until a writer seizes the opportunity for personal gain.
Why It Looks Awesome: It’s good to see Ricky Gervais writing and starring in what looks like a superbly original premise, especially since most of his movies have been duds. What was that one movie called? Ghost City? No, that’s too big – Ghost Village? No, no, too small. Oh, yes, Ghost Town – juuust right (wrong).
6. Shutter Island
Release: October 2nd
Stars: Leonardo DiCaprio, Emily Mortimer, Mark Ruffalo
IMDB’s Plot: When a psychotic killer (Mortimer) disappears from a mental institution on Shutter Island, a pair of U.S. Marshals (Ruffalo and DiCaprio) race against the clock in order to track her down.
Why It Looks Awesome: Directed by newcomer director Martin Scorsese (he’s going to be big, people, just you wait – perhaps even the next Michael Bay), this thriller set on the Island of Shutter is going to make you shudder! That wasn’t the tagline, but it should have been.
Point being, not even terrible puns can ruin this movie’s promise, because the Scorsese-DiCaprio luchadores tag-team has yet to do wrong, and Mark Ruffalo and Emily Mortimer will provide just the right amount of “sight sugar,” if you will.
5. Where the Wild Things Are
Release: October 16th
Stars: Max Records, Catherine O’Hara, Forest Whitaker
IMDB’s Plot: Young, mischievous Max is sent to bed without his supper, but when his bedroom turns in to a magical jungle landscape filled with strange creatures, he embarks on a wild imaginary adventure.
Why It Looks Awesome: Really? Do you really need us to tell you why this looks awesome? How about the amazing special effects that bring a children’s literary classic to life for generations to come? No? What about the fact that director Spike Jonze — responsible for every music video/movie you’ve ever cared about — has teamed up with Dave Eggers — whose book probably made you cry — for the cinematic event of 2009? Still nothing? Hmm… MARK RUFFALO IS IN– That’s what I thought.
Note to Hipsters: As though we needed to sell you on what is essentially your Ten Commandments.
4. The Road
Release: October 16th
Stars: Viggo Mortensen, Charlize Theron, Kodi Smit-McPhee
IMDB’s Plot: A father (Mortensen) and son (Smit-McPhee) walk for months across a ravaged, post-apocalyptic landscape in search of civilization.
Why It Looks Awesome: Remember how the Coen Brothers’ adaptation of Cormac McCarthy’s No Country For Old Men was set in the boring 1980s in middle-of-nowhere Texas and had Woody Harrelson and still managed to be awesome? Yeah, now imagine it set in the future in a post-apocalyptic wasteland and starring Viggo Mortenson as a character named “The Man”. This movie should have been called The Road to the Oscar Stage. Cause it will probably win an award!
3. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All by Myself
Release: December 18th
Stars: Tyler Perry, Tyler Perry, Taraji P. Henson, Tyler Perry
IMDB’s Plot: When Madea catches sixteen-year-old Jennifer and her two younger brothers looting her home, she decides to take matters into her own hands and delivers the young delinquents to the only relative they have: their aunt April, a heavy-drinking nightclub singer who lives off of Raymond, her married boyfriend.
Why It Looks Awesome: Kidding! Joke’s on us. Us = the world.
3. Ninja Assassin
Release: November 25th
Stars: Rain, Rick Yune, Naomie Harris
IMDB’s Plot: Raizo (Rain) is a rogue ninja who comes to the aid of Mika Coretti (Harris), a Berlin-based Interpol agent who has linked the shadowy Ozunu Clan, a secret society of assassins who trained Raizo, to a series of murders. Most dangerous to them both is Takeshi (Yune), Raizo’s former ally and the assassin leading the charge of Ozunu killers to Berlin.
Why It Looks Awesome: We don’t care how mediocre the trailer looks or who this “Rain” person is or how confusing the plot sounds. A movie simply titled “Ninja” would already win a prestigious BWE.tv Felix (our version of the Oscars – it’s a very subtle inside reference, don’t ask) for Most Awesome-Sounding Movie of 2009. Hell, a movie titled “Ninja Ass” would win two. But a movie titled “Ninja Assassin”? You might as well call it “Do You Like Food, Water, and Shelter? Basically, Do You Enjoy Anything Even Remotely Pleasurable? If So, See This Movie, Because It Has Ninjas,” with the tagline, “Assassinate This!” (Ed. Note: Yes, this entire paragraph was scripted by Intern Zack. What can we say, boy loves Ninjas.)
2. Sherlock Holmes
Release: Christmas Day
Stars: Robert Downey Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams
IMDB’s Plot: Detective Sherlock Holmes (Downey Jr.) and his stalwart partner Watson (Law) engage in a battle of wits and brawn with a nemesis whose plot is a threat to all of England.
Why It Looks Awesome: While we don’t specifically remember anything in the original books about jumping out of buildings or slow-motion boxing matches or Sherlock Holmes resembling Robert Downey Jr. in any form, we’re glad this adaptation went the route of “awesome” rather than “faithful to the source material.” Unless this is all from Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s legendary manuscript, Sherlock Holmes and the Harmless Wrench, which was banned in 1904 for its “various lewd and barmy passages in which the eponymous character sits nude atop a mattress, his bollocks obscured by merely a pillow – though did we mention he looks like future American heartthrob Robert Downey Jr.?” In which case, excellent work.
1. Avatar
Release: December 18th
Stars: Sam Worthington, Sigourney Weaver, Michelle Rodriguez
IMDB’s Plot: A band of humans are pitted in a battle against a distant planet’s indigenous population.
Why It Looks Awesome: Mastermind James Cameron reportedly wrote the script for this sci-fi epic over a decade ago, but was forced to shelve it because we, mankind, simply did not possess the technology (CGI) to create such awesomeness. After making his Plan B, 1997’s obscure time-travel fantasy Titanic, Cameron has returned to the project, and it looks incredible. The trailer really doesn’t do anything justice, mostly because there isn’t anything in the trailer, but trust us – you’ll want to see Avatar, provided you fit into one of the following categories:
(a) Nerd.
UPDATE: User Torg reminds us we’ve left a VERY important film off of this list — Rob Marshall’s 9. We will likely never forgive ourselves for this oversight. But here is to trying:
1a. Nine
Release: November 25th
Stars: Where to begin: Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Nicole Kidman, Judi Dench, Penelope Cruz, Kate Hudson… Fergie
IMDB’s Plot: Famous film director Guido Contini (Day-Lewis) struggles to find harmony in his professional and personal lives, as he engages in dramatic relationships with his wife, his mistress, his muse, his agent, and his mother.
Why It Looks Awesome: Other than the fact that Daniel Day-Lewis probably bones Judi Dench? Hello, it’s a Rob Marshall musical movie. Those that aren’t sold on that premise alone will likely never be sold on a movie musical. And frankly? I feel sorry for you. Even Fergie cannot ruin this effort:
(Ed. Note: With many thanks to Intern Zack Mast for his contributions, as well as Intern Pam Payano for her help on various projects. Next week is their last, and we will miss them!)
