- A South Carolina man was arrested for having sex with a horse for the second time. You’re welcome to write your own Matthew Broderick “repeated sex with a horse” punchline.
- Jude Law is set to welcome his fourth child. He’ll soon have enough to re-enact his own adorable family version of Closer.
- Dr. Conrad Murray may lose his Las Vegas home The real estate market continues to be tough for tabloid-beloved apparent-pop-star-murderers.
- The Emmys are cutting 8 awards from the live broadcast, including “Outstanding Miniseries,” “Writing For a Drama Series,” and the coveted “Best Non-HBO Thing.”
- There’s “Slow News Day” and then there’s “This News Day Is A Sloth Inside A Glacier”
- And finally, Jon Gosselin returned to his 8 children in Pennsylvania. But “8 Children” is actually the name of another woman he’s f***ing. (TO DO LIST – Write actual joke for this bullet point)
