Just when you thought the Tony Romo / Jessica Simpson breakup would continue to be exactly as free of amusingly ridiculous tabloid anecdotes as their relationship, Romo went ahead and maturely hung an anti-Jessica sign on the front of his gated community, as any human would after a breakup:
Us Weekly…reports the Dallas Cowboys quarterback instructed security to keep Simpson out of his gated community.
A sign at the entrance reads: “RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN….JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS.”
Possible interpretations of this scenario:
1) Tony Romo communicates entirely through telegraphs (Us Weekly has omitted the [STOP]s)
2) Tony Romo broke up with Jessica Simpson because having her around violated his house’s strict NO GURLS ALLOWED policy. He was blackballed from all marble games until he agreed to comply.
3) Commander Riker from Next Generation is in charge of Tony Romo’s HouseList, hence the “RED ALERT!!!”
4) Tony Romo literally wrote that message onto a sign and hung the sign on the gate around his home, so that Jessica Simpson would see it and no that she is no longer approved for access.
I’m gonna say…most likely, a combo of #3 and #2.
