I spent over an hour yesterday staring at my computer screen with a blank post open, trying to write something about the Entourage Season Premiere, then another half hour today without a single word written before realizing that my complete, empty gaze spoke more loudly about my current feelings towards the show than any dumbass jokey analysis I could’ve possibly thrown together.
The thing is, the premiere wasn’t a bad episode at all; there were a couple decent, nonthreatening dilemmas playing out, no real cringe-worthy lines, maybe two or three funny parts, Gary Cole as a regular now, no obligation-boobs, and no painfully shoehorned-in cameos of celebrities making fun of themselves way too lightly (the Leno appearance was surprisingly uninsulting, if already dated.) In general, it was a completely normal, acceptable episode of Entourage, but absolutely nothing about it was good enough, bad enough, or different enough from the past fifteen seasons of the show to be remotely noteworthy.
Which causes me to ask the question — not rhetorically, I’m asking literally — why should we still be watching Entourage?
I’ve defended Entourage in the past; it began as a likable, original half-hour comedy about the inner-workings of Hollywood, quickly attracted a douchey audience demographic, then fell victim to people suddenly bashing it, partially because of the audience it attracted and partially because it didn’t live up to the standards of a meaningful, classic HBO series (which it never even attempted to be, it simply got popular). Into Season Three, however, I realized that I kept enjoying the show less week after week, with occasionally funny episodes more than offset by other occasionally horrendous episodes, until ultimately, I just couldn’t even pretend to care about the show anymore.
The show just entered its sixth season. In the previous five, Vince has been an A-list movie star and a wash-up and back again, Vince hired Ari, fired Ari, then hired Ari back again, the foursome moved apart then moved back together again, Eric started dating Sloan then they broke up and now they might be getting back together again — basically, there aren’t any possible plots left for this show to explore, unless Turtle and Drama have sex then Vince’s new movie does averagely.
Tuuuuuuuurtle!!!!!!
Watching the Season Six premiere, I found it hard to care about Vince attempting a comeback and Eric moving into his own place and acting weirdly around Sloan when we’ve already seen these things happen multiple times. I’m honestly just not sure what this show could possibly do to make me legitimately care about the characters again. Maybe if Ari started hurling d*ck jokes at Lloyd? Hehehehehehehe… he is so gay!
I suppose it’s odd to be allied with the angry masses who complained three years ago that Entourage is just a pandering, d-bag fantasy world (a half truth), but my loss of interest in this show isn’t based on a necessary decline in quality or increase in doucheyness over the past couple years; it’s just that Enotourage has continued to be the exact same show for longer than I can keep enjoying the exact same show, even when holding it to the minimal standards of “why not, let’s waste a harmless 24 minutes every Sunday.” I know people made this observation two seasons ago, but now it’s completely unarguable.
It also doesn’t help that this quote is on the Entourage website:
