Apparently, Satan has grown weary of making celebrities die and instead turned his attention back to orchestrating new, diabolical Jon & Kate stories, starting with this Jon Gosselin update:

Just weeks after splitting from his wife of 10 years, Jon Gosselin is back in the spotlight with a new career and a new girlfriend. Gosselin, 32, turned up in St. Tropez hand-in-hand with Hailey Glassman, the daughter of the plastic surgeon who performed Kate’s tummy tuck in 2006. The lovebirds spent the weekend along the French Riviera so Gosselin could finalize a deal to design his own line of children’s clothing with Ed Hardy designer Christian Audigier.

Jon Gosselin is dating the daughter of his ex-wife’s plastic surgeon and took her to the French Riviera so he could finalize a deal to license his own line of children’s clothing. Take one minute to re-read that paragraph and allow the numerous layers of terrible to wash over you.

Satan, if you’re going to completely orchestrate the details of future awful celebrity occurences, you shouldn’t make it this obvious that the hand of the devil is involved. You’re supposed to be at least a little bit discreet — daughter of wife’s plastic surgeon? That’s just greedy.