I was just in an elevator with a news ticker, and ever-so-briefly did a double-take when I saw this headline:

Buffett Calls For Second Stimulus

Even slow-minded, always-hoping-for-the-joke me realized after about two seconds that the headline was actually referring to Warren Buffett, but for that slightest of moments, I was savoring the mental picture of Jimmy Buffett on stage in front of 60,000 Hawaiian-shirted fans slowing things down a bit mid-”Cheeseburger” to address his Parrot-headed faithful about the long-term dangers of incomplete government economic intervention, ultimately declaring that a second stimulus package is an absolute necessity.

He would then complete the final chorus, chug a Land Shark on stage, and launch into “Fins” while encouraging the fans to get their fins up.