Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing”: Unquestionably one of the greatest, most epic songs ever written. From its years as a rock radio mainstay and iconic concert favorite to its more recent fame as a go-to karaoke showstopper and iconic, if highly predictable, college party night-ender, no song seemed more completely invincible to the threat of ever growing too repetitive.
However, in the past five years or so, “DSB” has shot past the point of merely being ubiquitous to being something else — something almost…annoying. Played out? Used up? Exact wording aside, it’s clear that “Don’t Stop Believing” has, through no fault of the song itself, jumped the shark. And I know I’m not alone in believing this.
In the interests of spreading the blame around, here are the 10 Main Reasons for the “DSB” shark-jumping:
10. Sopranos Finale
An epic scene, to be sure, but the Sopranos finale marked the beginning of the end for “DSB.” Yes, it inspired a year’s worth of parodies parodies by everyone from the Pittsburgh Pirates to frickin’ Hillary Clinton, but concluding the most successful show in cable history with such a memorable moment should’ve been the untoppable, be-all and end-all of anyone ever trying to incorporate “DSB” ever again, when in fact, it was only the beginning.
9. Youtube Covers
It’s hard to blame the song “DSB” for any Youtube offshoots it’s inspired — I don’t blame the song for anything on this list, frankly — but this song in particular has served as an excuse for countless internet masses to unleash their “bad on purpose but really just bad” internetty-as-hell videos upon the internet. Here’s just one example.
8. Glee Pilot
The first episode of Fox’s Glee concluded with a kid-tastic “DSB” cover, including a rockin’ solo from this Burger King Kids’ Club character, which was placed on iTunes and downloaded 177,000 times in a week, thus charting higher than the original Journey song.
7. Scrubs Montage
You’d think the show Scrubs would at least take the tongue-in-cheek approach to the “DSB” montage, but nope — here’s Zach Braff’s straight-faced meditations on life.
6. Red Wings Fans
The Detroit Red Wings blast “DSB” during the third period of home games, giving everyone in the crowd a chance to shout along to the “South Detroit” mention. A fine tradition, except for the fact that 1) There’s not really any geographical location referred to as “South Detroit,” and 2) In the very next line of the song, the character takes a train going anywhere else.
5. Nick Pitera Cover Of Glee Cover
…And let’s not forget Youtube covers of the Glee cover of “DSB.” It’s like Russian nesting dolls of terrible.
4. Rock Of Ages Air Guitar Record
Here’s 400 people paying $120 to pretend to play along with a bunch of actors pretending to be Journey! New World Record!
3. Family Guy Version
It’s the Family Guy characters singing “Don’t Stop Believing”!!! I love them and the song so much I don’t care that there literally isn’t a joke to this, it’s just them singing it for a minute and a half!!!
2. Michael Phelps On A Plane
Given the fact that Michael Phelps could turn Michaelangelo’s Birth of Man douchey by touching it, Michael Phelps singing “DSB” on a plane to promote a website exceeds any degree of doucheocity measurable by mankind.
1. The Ellen Page Cover
Juno’s Ellen Page and Arrested Development’s Alia Shawkat doing…whatever this is. And that’ll do it, folks:
Since I’m sure there’s no point in calling a stopping the “DSB” overuse-juggernaut at this point, I’ll just take this time to make one simple request of the music-licensing world:
Just don’t f*ck up the greatest music video ever made. Deal?
