Andy Roddick lost the Wimbledon Final to Roger Federer in a five-set match that lasted a record 30 games in the fifth set. To make matters worse, Federer then proceeded to have sex with Mandy Moore on Centre Court, unleashing orgasmic noises that Roddick had never heard before as the crowd gave a standing ovation.- Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs tied with Transformers at the box office this weekend, earning approximately $42.5 million. Interestingly, both movies involve a sloth voiced my John Leguizamo doing a rap.
- Rupert Grint, aka Ron Weasley from the Harry Potter movies, has contracted swine flu. Apparently, Voldemort’s current scheme involves non-topical, slightly amusing public health scares.
- Al Sharpton is lobbying the Post Office to release a Michael Jackson commemorative stamp, because it’s a specific enough request to get everyone to talk about Al Sharpton.
- Robert McNamera, the former Defense Secretary under Presidents Kennedy and Johnson, passed away at the age of 93. To honor the ex-cabinet member, MTV will run a marathon of McNamera’s music videos all day today.
