- Wanda Sykes and her wife Alex welcomed twins into the world. Now? To try to keep Pootie Tang out of their hands for as long as humanly possible.
- Word has it Madonna is engaged to her younger male model boyfriend Jesus Luz, Kabbalah style. That is, until he accidentally stumbles upon the invitations to his own bris party, called “Jesus Luz His Foreskin!”, at which point that uncut piece of A will be hotfooting it back to Brazil or whatever country where the hot people are made.
- Kate Gosselin‘s brother claims that her hyper-fertile marriage to Jon is over. So if you’re a single man who loves kids, hates the touch and feel of a woman, but loves being berated and made small, get in there!
- And in “Best Picture Winner of 2012″ news, Martin Scorsese is directing a movie based on the life of Frank Sinatra. Possibly titles include “My Way”, “I’m Gonna Kill This Broad”, and “I Gotta Pinched Nerve” (RIP Phil Hartman.)
- A study has been released claiming that every time you charge your Ipod, a polar bear dies. Sad, definitely, but have you heard the new Lady Gaga album? “Summer Boys” is my ’09 jam. Sorry, bears, guess you’re gonna have to take this one for the team. The “team”, in this case, being “dancing alone in my room with the blinds closed”.
