- Allison Iraheta was voted off American Idol, leaving an all-male three-person field. But who will emerge from the pack and become the next Taylor Hicks? (Sidenote: this show is no longer in the same body of water as the shark it sailed over.)
- Michael Jackson is being sued by a former publicist for $44 million. His lawyer committed a classic faux pas by immediately issuing a default “That child has no proof and his parents just want money” public statement to the press, before adding “Wait…what is this about then?”
- The online pirated version of Wolverine was downloaded a staggering 4 million times. If you count downloads of the version that was re-titled “sexy boobs porn lesbian threesome britney,” that number jumps to an even more staggering 650 million.
- Elisabeth Hasselbeck claims she hasn’t really been paying much attention to her upcoming third child. Clearly this was not just a vague out-of-context quote; she hates children because she’s evil and something something Republican.
- The Minnesota Vikings are in talks to bring Brett Favre out of retirement. And no, this is not an old story. And no, this is not an old story that came out after that first old story and mentioned “this is not an old story” either.
